• I feel a certain jealousy

    for the hims and the hers

    that I have never met

    nor do I know their fate

    For however they continue

    they once were the spark of a fire within you

    Who was that girl?

    What did she make you feel?

    Did she break your heart or would that be too perfect?

    Is she even real

    or did you give her life?

    I know that you can help me see

    my hopes and dreams reflected

    in a form more real than i can now conceive

    —-

    I want to hear those details clearly

    only i would recognise

    the ties that bind the two of us

    so long as we have ears to hear

    You grant the world the privilege to ask:

    who was that girl?

    What did she make you feel?

    Did she break your heart or would that be too perfect?

    Is she even real?

    or did you give her life?

    To glimpse your world is not enough

    I want to be enshrined inside

    I want to find a place to hide

    a part of me within your melody

    and even through some trouble’s throes

    i’ll always have a place to go

    where i remain forever vaunted

    beautiful and always wanted

    by one who’s hymn of wanting fills my heart

    To be that unnamed girl,

    the spark that lights your song,

    that you have made eternal in return

    Mark McQuillan (2024)

  • I knew him when we were young

    We spent those days in the sun

    He stood alone as the one who would haunt me through the years

    -

    And the sadness can be read on my face;

    Emotions I can’t erase

    They bring me back to a place and time 

    When there was hope and calm

    -

    And though I saw our imperfections

    With time they have given way to memories of laughter and joy

    Which now may be forever out of my reach

    -

    I see his face in my mind;

    His movement one of a kind,

    His silhouette in the light of a day I yearn for still

    -

    But would I gain some small comfort knowing his heart aches as mine?

    Mark McQuillan (2023)


  • The Clown:

    What does he want? What does he fear?

    The Clown:

    Never too close, Sometimes too near

    The Clown:

    Always so Loud, Always so Brash

    The Clown:
    Never upset, Never Abashed

    -

    as far as you’d know from his face

    his smile: it remains in its place

    his eyes purposeful, wandering

    but their meeting with yours can’t endure

    is that by intention or some other means

    a means he’s not willing to face

    -

    The Clown:

    is he a friend? is he a foe?

    The Clown:
    When is it real? When just a show?

    The Clown:

    Is he like you? Can he be read?

    The Clown:

    How can he live? What would it mean to be dead?

    -

    the shape of a tear by his eye

    it tells you a truth through a lie

    as he struggles to find the words

    to express what he feels might ensure

    the you won’t catch a glimpse of his one greatest fear

    the fear of appearing alive

    -

    The man who lives a life through humour

    who’s wit his first defence against the world

    a kind of life but to what end

    to live as hero, lover, friend

    or as a clown 

    -

    the man whose hopes survive through rumour

    who keeps his dreams and nightmares tightly furled

    behind a face he wears each day

    his soul sums up the debt he’ll pay

    -

    but each new day he has a choice

    to shades of doubt he can give voice

    voice to the wants

    voice to the fears

    voice to the screams

    voice to the cheers

    voices so loud

    voices so brash

    voices upset

    voices at last

    -

    can he grasp that it’s life or it’s death

    get too close and that’s all there is left

    if he bears all before you, embracing that choice 

    who is he that can take the next breath

    -

    The Man:

    his smile, now it’s real, the first of its kind

    The Man:

    The face of pretence, he leaves it behind

    The Man:

    Who is he now? Who can he be?

    The Man:

    Will he be strong? Must he be free?